I want to fill you in on a little secret. You need less than you think. In fact, you need only very little. All you need is you. You don’t need him and you don’t need her. It’s a dangerous notion, trying to find your strength from the companionship of another. Relying on another to find approval is much like a narcotic, in that it is highly-addictive. On the contrary, there is a certain satisfaction a farmer enjoys in the knowledge that he is a self-sustaining, self-reliant man. Freedom from the tyranny of mutual reliance of one another is no different. I used to look for approval from my parents, then later it became from others at school. They weren’t even what I would consider ‘friends’, they were just the ‘cool’ crowd. Then as I got older, it became that of friends and after that, it became that of lovers. Year after year, I found myself in an internal struggle to find happiness and satisfaction with my life between what I liked and what others liked or expected as there was often a contrast between those two ideals.
The older I got, the fewer friends seemed to stick around. Either out of fate or convenience, they dwindled in number. The ones that stuck around, didn’t seem to care what the hell I did, they loved me all the same, and that has made me love them all the more for it. As the number of ‘true friends’ that I possessed dwindled, the more I found myself discovering true satisfaction with my life because I was doing what I loved. I didn’t look around the room to ask if I was supposed to be happy or content. Frankly, I cared less about what others thought, and thought more about what I would think of myself the next day. Would I be proud or satisfied tomorrow at the things I’m doing today? My ideals, my values, my beliefs are largely unpopular, especially with my family. I don’t seek the typical American dream of a wife, kids, and a white picket fence. My dream is freedom. I want the world to be my home, and the citizens of the world to be family.
“Friends are the family you choose.” -Jess C. Scott
In being devoid of the urge to find approval from others, we are able to 100% instinctively and intuitively follow our heart and pursue our dreams and not the path that is expected of us. I have a saying that I live be. “Be excellent, and live excellently.” You may in turn ask, “how do I accomplish that?” That my friends is for you to discover for yourselves. Go out there and find it.